I had a dream last nite where I told off one of the classmates who made my life a living hell in high school. It wasn’t the ringleader, but it was one of the jackasses that joined in. It felt good to tell him off. I think I even made him cry a little (his eyes were really red by the time I was done).

I woke up this morning wishing I could do that in real life. I believe there are some of them who live in the same town as I do, but we never cross paths (which is probably a good thing). So I will most likely never have that opportunity.

But I still wish they knew how their juvenile actions back then still affect me to this day … and I graduated high school in 1994!

I remember getting picked on in the 2nd grade. My teacher, Ms. Schmidt, told me that “boys only tease girls they like”. If that were true, then I was the most popular girl that town had ever seen. They started the real bullying around 5th or 6th grade and some were still at it the day we graduated high school.

Since I will never get the chance to tell them off face to face, I thought I would write them a letter. I know that they’ll probably never even run across this blog, but there are things that I need to say, whether they see them or not.

If anyone reading this happens to know Kelly Visto, Joe Dobos, Zach Fluto, Matt Swanson, or anyone who went to school with them (older or younger), pass this link on to them. Oh yeah … I went there. I named names.

Dear Bullies …

I could call you jackasses or assholes or any number of other terms that I’ve thought of over the years, but when it comes right down to it … you’re bullies. You made my life a living hell throughout school. The things you said and did still haunt me to this day.

And you know what is really ironic … the trigger that started everything wasn’t even what you thought it was. You all thought that I shit my pants. Well guess what … that isn’t what happened. What really happened? I became a woman that day. And if you don’t know what I mean by that, then you’re even more stupid than I thought you were in high school. So that fun little song you made up back then was all for nothing. Then again, I’m sure you would have made up a different song for the situation and bullied me with that.

I got pretty damn good at ignoring you. But even though I was able to ignore your antics, it still affected me. I bottled up my feelings. I kept to myself. I stayed home. I never did anything that normal high school girls did. I did have some friends, but I never did anything with them outside of school. And that was all because of you … how you made me feel about myself … how you treated me.

Some of you eventually gave up the bullying. But others kept right on going until the day we graduated. I’m sure that at least one of you would have continued bullying me if you had the chance (and you know who you are).

Joe – I ran into you a few times when I first started going to Pistol Pete’s Saloon. We even spoke. You seemed surprised when I acted like such a bitch to you. I remember you saying something like “that was a long time ago”. Well, you know what? TIME DOESN’T HEAL ALL WOUNDS!!!

We graduated 17 years ago. That’s a long time. I’m sure you’ve completely forgotten about the things you said way back then. But I haven’t. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t.

You might have thought that they were only words. But words can hurt as much as punches … sometimes more.

Bruises heal. The marks go away. But the wounds from your words … they’re still raw and bleeding … even after 17 years.

Do you even realize that the things that you said way back then have shaped my life … and not in a good way. Does that make you proud? Does that make you feel like big strong men?

I don’t have a lot of friends, but the ones I have … I cherish them. It’s hard for me to make new friends. My social ineptitude can be traced back to you. You broke me down. You made me keep to myself. And because of that, I never learned how to be social.

You better hope that we never turn up at the same bar, because if I’ve got a few drinks in me, I might just tell you how I feel. And I can’t be sure that I’d stop with words. I’ve got a LOT of pent up emotions. I’d hate to be the person who uncorks that bottle.

Sincerely,
The girl you broke

Wow. That was harder to write than I thought it would be. Do you realize how hard it is to type through tears? I started this post this morning, before work. But I had to stop or else I would have been a blabbering mess all day at work.

As I re-read this tonite and finish it, I’m tempted to not hit the publish button. Maybe the act of writing this was enough therapy for me. But no. Why should I stay silent? Haven’t I been silent long enough?

Does this look like an April 16 morning? I don’t think so either. Mother Nature forgot the rule that no snow is allowed after the river crests. When I track the bitch down …

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been interested in the weather. Somewhere around junior high, I decided that I wanted to go to college for meteorology.

I remember a family trip to Kasota, MN (in southern MN) … Mom, Dad, sister, Grandma, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I don’t remember exactly when this was, but it had to have been when I was in either 6th or 7th grade. We had a caravan headed down there. I don’t remember a lot about that trip other than the actual trip down there. I’m not sure where the weather started, but it was interesting for the majority of the trip. We stopped at a gas station or truck stop in Sauk Centre, and I remember pouring rain and lightning that seemed to almost hit us. It seemed like in every little town we went through, we heard the tornado sirens going off as we left town. We made another pit stop in Sleepy Eye, MN. I stayed in the car while everyone else went in. I heard them say on the radio that there was a tornado headed toward town. And sure enough, as we were leaving, we heard the sirens go off. It was like the storms were chasing us all the way there. We managed to stay ahead of the bad stuff, thankfully.

I think that was where my love of severe weather was born.

I went to college at the University of North Dakota (Go Sioux!!!) for meteorology. I was interested in the research side of things. I did work study (with my advisor). We were looking into the radar coverage in NW North Dakota, and how forecasting info might be affected if the Williston NWS office was closed. I looked at a lot of radar data.

Unfortunately, that was about as involved as I got while I was there. I did go to meetings of the student AMS (American Meteorological Society). Looking back now, I wish I had tried to get involved at RWIS (Regional Weather Information Center), which was right on campus. Maybe if I had, things would have turned out differently.

In the summer of ’97 (and again in ’98), I was an intern on a weather modification product in western ND. I really enjoyed that. We had our own radar on site, and we used it to guide airplanes around thunderstorms so they could seed it to either make it rain more or to lessen the size (and damage) of hail. I even got to go up in one of the planes once while they were on a mission. Some might think it’s crazy to fly a little 4-6 seater airplane around a thunderstorm, but I loved being in that plane. Yeah, we did get caught in a downdraft at one point and dropped like 500 ft in a matter of a few seconds … but I would have gone up again, if I could have.

I graduated with a BS in Meteorological Studies in ’98. I remember wanting to go to grad school at the University of Oklahoma. I honestly don’t remember what changed my mind.

I ended up getting a job with the company who ran that weather modification project. I worked there for 4½ years. But I was little more than a glorified office assistant. I was in charge of gathering the data from the various field projects, and putting reports together. But anyone could have done that. I did get to go to a project site in Oklahoma City for a week at one point. But, wouldn’t you know it (with my luck), there wasn’t a drop of rain the entire time I was there.

When I got laid off from that job at the end of 2003, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I looked into getting a weather related job, but with my lack of experience, I was all but screwed. I ended up getting a job as a web programmer in June 2004. And that other life was history.

I am still working as a web programmer. And don’t get me wrong … I love what I do (despite the tight deadlines as of late). But there is still a part of me that longs to be doing something related to the weather. When storms come around, I am taken back to that family trip to Kasota. Only this time, I want to be chasing the storms.

I found out early last week that Reed Timmer was going to be in Hillsboro to give a talk today. If you don’t know who Reed is, he’s a storm chaser. He’s on the show Storm Chasers on the Discovery Channel.

I almost didn’t go. I couldn’t find anyone who wanted to go with me, and I didn’t want to go by myself. But I knew (with my history) that if I didn’t go, I would never forgive myself. So … I sucked it up and went … by myself. And I’m glad I did.

Reed & Joel (one of his partners) were supposed to be coming. It turned out that Joel didn’t end up coming. It would have been nice to meet Joel too, but oh well. When Reed got there, they drove (he wasn’t the one driving though) the Dominator into the gym where the event was being held. Very cool. I didn’t have to go out in the cold to check the thing out.

I walked around the Dominator a little and took some pictures of it. There were too many people around it to get as close of a look as I wanted. Then I jumped in line to get my pic taken with Reed. I didn’t have anything for him to autograph, but I’d rather than a picture than a scribbled name on a piece of paper. I hate how I look, but at least I have proof that I met him.

Here are some of the pics I snapped. I didn’t take a whole lot of pics. My camera really didn’t like the lighting in the gym. I did take a few videos of Reed’s presentation. I probably won’t put ‘em up anywhere though.

During his presentation, he showed video clips from some of his chases. Some footage I had seen on the show, and some was raw footage that wasn’t on the show. Watching those video clips renewed my desire for the weather … for severe storms. I am so tired of winter … of all of this damn snow. I long for a good lightning show … for some house rattling crashes of thunder … to watch the storm clouds roll in.

Reed said that he has a feeling that they’ll be doing a lot of chasing in the northern plains this year, based on the fact that it is a La Niña year. You have no idea what I would give to go chasing with him … whether in the Dominator or not. To just go chasing at all. Obviously, I can’t go chasing by myself. I’d end up in the ditch because I’d be watching the weather rather than the road. And I don’t know anyone who would want to go chasing with me … and be the one driving. If I happen to see the Dominator driving through town, I just might find myself following them. But not too close. I don’t think my little Honda would survive a tornado.

An unforeseen side effect of going to the talk is that it made me question where I am today. I went to school for 4 years … spent around $10,000 to get a degree in meteorology. And I’m working as a web programmer (and I’ve never had a single class in the field).

It really is crazy how where you are isn’t where you thought you’d be. But even though I’m not a meteorologist like I thought I would be, the desire is still there. I still get excited when I hear thunder, when I smell rain. I didn’t fail. I just found something else that fit me better for a career. I didn’t lose the desire that I had back in junior high. It’s still there … in my heart.

Two of the items on my bucket list are to see a tornado with my own eyes and to go on a storm chasing vacation. I have been interested in the weather since I was in junior high. I love severe weather. I even went to college to pursue a degree in meteorology.

Today I found out that Reed Timmer & Joel Taylor from Storm Chaser are going to be in Hillsboro on Sunday.

‘Storm Chasers’ show stars to stop in Hillsboro

Reed Timmer and Joel Taylor from Discovery Channel’s show, “Storm Chasers” discuss their work Sunday at the Hillsboro Events Center.

The duo will bring “Dominator,” the Tornado Intercept Vehicle, with them.

The event is sponsored by the Hillsboro Students Against Drunk Driving Chapter.

Doors open at 1:30 p.m. with the presentation starting at 3 p.m. Tickets available at the door for $10.

Source: Inforum.com

I asked my sister if she wanted to go. I know she watches the show. She doesn’t wanna go … brat. I really wanna go. I don’t want to go by myself, but I don’t know of anyone who would want to go with me.

But do I really wanna pass up this opportunity? It’s not like I’m gonna see a tornado or anything … this is North Dakota and it is March and there is snow on the ground.

But they are gonna have the Dominator there. And I’m sure they will have stories to tell. I just don’t think I can pass this up.

Here we go again. There might be some complaining. There might be some NASCAR talk. This is my house, so it’s my prerogative to say whatever the hell I want. If you don’t like it, then don’t read it. 

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