And so the journey begins

My New Year’s resolution for this year is:

I resolve to be better to myself. To treat myself with the respect I deserve (stop beating myself up for every little thing) and do my damnedest to get healthy and be happy.

This isn’t just a “fly by night” resolution. This is a change in my habits … a change in my life … a Fresh Start.

I have been my own worst enemy for years … beating myself up over the smallest things that I should have just let roll off my back. I bottle my feelings up … and I’m to the point where I feel like I’m gonna burst.

I just can’t do this anymore. I HAVE to make a change. Not “I want to” or “I really should” … I HAVE TO. If I don’t … well, I don’t like the road I’ve been headed down, and I don’t want to go any further on it.

One aspect of my fresh start is to lose weight. I am definitely overweight and have been for the past few years. Last Wednesday morning I set my alarm for 5am (and I only hit snooze once), dragged my ass out of bed, and got on my elliptical machine. I only lasted 15 minutes and went 0.86 miles, but it was a start. Unfortunately, I haven’t been back on it since that morning. Oops.

I also have a Walk Away the Pounds dvd set that I’ll eventually get back into. And back when I first bought my Wii, I bought the EA Sports Active game. I’ve never even put it in the machine. I really need to start using that too. I bought a Wii Fit last nite. I’m hoping that since I spent $100 for the thing, it’ll keep me motivated. A bonus from getting the Wii Fit was that it came with a The Biggest Loser game, so there’s one more fitness game (bringing my total up to 3).

My biggest issue with the exercising is the lack of motivation. I would like to work out in the mornings before work, but I’m having problems dragging my ass out of bed at 5am. I just need to get into a routine. Getting started is the hardest part. I just have to keep telling myself that dropping some pounds will affect how I feel. Maybe I won’t be so tired all the time. And not being out of breath after walking up 3 flights of stairs to my apartment with 4 bags full of groceries.

Another aspect of my fresh start is to eat healthy. I’m doing better with this one than with the exercise portion. I’ve been eating like crap for way too long now. My meals have consisted of a single thing … hotdish, bowl of soup, sandwich. I haven’t been making full, well-rounded meals. I haven’t been motivated to cook (since I live alone), and I haven’t had all that many ingredients to work with.

Over the weekend, I came up with some meal ideas and put together my grocery list based on that. Unfortunately, the store didn’t have a very good produce selection when I went shopping on Sunday. But I’m not going to give up. Yeah, it might be harder to find good produce in North Dakota in January, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t cook up some good shit. 🙂 I do like to cook. I just need to find my kitchen mojo.

I’m also trying to keep track of what I eat on the Lose It website. It’s actually an iPhone app. I used it on my iPod Touch a while back and really liked it. Unfortunately they don’t have an Android app, but I can enter things into their website. And the whole thing is FREE.

The final aspect of my fresh start is my emotional health. This is gonna be the tricky one. Like I said at the beginning of this post, I tend to beat myself up over the smallest and stupidest stuff. I’ve been doing it since high school (thanks to how some of my fellow classmates treated me). This is going to be the hardest part of this entire thing. I’m hoping that it’s at least partially related to my weight issues. Maybe after I drop some weight, I’ll start to feel better about myself … about how I look. It certainly can’t hurt.

I’m hoping that setting up this website will keep me going. I did try once before, but I didn’t put enough time into that site. I want this time around to be different. I have some tweaks that I want to do around here, but this theme is a good place to start. I also plan on setting up some custom post types for keeping track of my weigh-ins and workouts.

I’m also going to try to share recipes, tips, and anything else that I find helpful during my journey. Maybe it will help someone else in his/her own journey.